Aldous Huxley once wrote, “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
I wholeheartedly agree.
I’m sure you’ve heard about the concept of the ‘inner child.’ Say what you will about Psychology, but it’s grasped one fundamental truth about the human experience, which I believe is enough to justify it as an institution.
That fundamental truth is that who you are is because of your childhood experience.
Of course, you can reinvent yourself. But the rule generally applies.
I was an immigrant child in a three-generational home that believed children should be seen, not heard; their curiosities, expressions, and opinions are a nuisance at best. Any mistaken offenses in speech or body language (however unintended) could result in intense physical ‘discipline’ or scolding.
I was wound up tight for a long time and it negatively affected my mental health and hindered the way I connected with people.
So home wasn’t safe emotionally. I was wound up tight for a long time and it negatively affected my mental health and hindered the way I connected with people. My relationships could have been so much better.
I exaggerate (massively) when I tell people that Seinfeld saved me. The ‘show about nothing’ taught me something very valuable. Not everything has to be deep. In fact, most things probably shouldn’t be, since 99% of things are out of our control, even with our best intentions.
Seinfeld was able to poke fun at the mundane things in everyday life, and make even the serious things hilariously trivial. Which is why…
At some point, the world tells us to ‘grow up.’ And while I agree that to become a man, one must put childish things away, I reject the idea that the child himself must be put away.
Along the path to adulthood, many of us locked up our injured inner child, instead of healing him and sitting him beside us.
Along the path to adulthood, many of us locked up our injured inner child, instead of healing him and sitting him beside us. Sure, the way we play as a child can’t stay the same. But the fact that we love to play is what matters, and many of us lost sight of that, when we became engulfed in the monotonous and soul-crushing rat race of everyday life.
Men at their most comfortable are clownish. They are pranksters, sarcastic, quick-witted, and loud. They can say deep things in a way that’s entertaining and simple. They also actively seek new experiences, and are open to trying new things.
So much can be said. But I’ll summarize everything by saying, play often and prioritize play. Take things more lightly, and have more fun. Take the kid out of solitary confinement.
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